Between the Lines
by Rurucadooloo
Summary: I never had the freedom the others had. Their limits were the skies. Mine? Mine was my body. Mine was Death often visiting my bed side when I was asleep. My limits were many. Was that going to stop me? OCxLavi
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hello everyone! So, before we start I just wanted to say that this is pretty much a remake of one of my old fanfictions I had started writing about 4 years ago. I've wanted to continue it but my style had changed so much that I had to redue the chapters. (the old version is still up but I plan to delete it after I'm up to chapter 4) Trust me there's a HUGE difference. I'm basically using the old one as an outline for this one. Anyways I hope you enjoy, and please leave me reviews and criticism. If you see my HXH fanfic the only reason it's gotten this far is because of my wonder followers. Enjoy!

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Chapter 1: The Beginning

The world was not a kind place.

My father, a man of medicine, had done his fair travels around the world in pursuit for knowledge and claimed that there was a time where the world was not as bad as I found myself believing. There was a place, he often spoke of, that had people with the kindest souls and the warmest smiles. A place far greater than the people of the church or the dreary streets of London. The land was fruitful once, in ancient times and offered it's people a Garden of Eden.

Its remains had the spirit of it.

Day in and day out as my grandfather, an architect, obsessed with the ruins of Petra my father was charmed by the city life and the everyday people who greeted him as he passed by the dusty stores. It was nothing like back home. The sun was strong above their heads, the colors vibrant with life. It felt as if God was welcoming him home with a hug.

The people loved him. They laughed and cheered him on when he struggled to communicate in their language. He studied day in and day out to make it easier for the patients he saw in the hospital he helped open up. They bought him food, sweets drenched in sugary syrup, nuts, and many more. They invited him into their homes, offered up friendship, brotherhood, and friendship.

Yes, it was when the world was a kind place.

Somewhere in his boyish adventures there he stumbled across a woman, a woman that might as well been the one who removed the blindfold from his eyes. The world was not kind afterward for they fell madly in love and they eloped on the night before he left to London.

Shortly after, they gave birth to me.

Me.

Mother was a delicate thing. Back where she was raised she was called the flower princess because she never was seen past the brick walls of their manor. The children of the street were invited to play with her amongst the colorful flowers she tended too everyday. Her tinker like laughter rang through out every corner as she helped the younger kids make flower crowns and tell them stories of fairies and mystic creatures from books she read.

Everyone loved mother. Especially father.

He visited her three times a week as a doctor. He knew well why she wasn't allowed to leave her white brick cage and with each day that edged closer to his departure, his days were within that beautifully inclosed home increased. When he could no longer bare the idea of leaving to Britain without her, of warming her cold hands with his, or looking into her sun-kissed eyes, he proposed.

With both knowing that her parents wouldn't allow it, they left without a word to her family.

She died when I was four.

And father never smiled the same way. When I was twelve, we discovered I had the same fragile heart my mother did and that, that was the day I saw my father lose his mind.

Sweet Maria who was the exact copy of her mother was destined to die.

It was a strangely sunny day the first time we approached the church upon the hill. I was four at the time, confused to why mother wasn't with us. We left quickly after the funeral, my father fearing a darker power looming over his shoulders.

"I wanna go home," I wept like any other little girl would when she missed her mother, "I don't wanna stay here." my father's strong arms had scooped me up and I could still feel how tight he hugged me.

"It's going to be alright Maria."

"Why didn't mama come with us?" the memory still brought me heart ache now that I understood what it meant when he said she was off visiting a friend.

"She'll be watching over us from now on, so be a good girl for me," Father had his his face in my hair and wept for the woman he had lost.

 **Years passed since then**. I was no longer a child, no longer a little girl. I was seventeen, a fine age of youth, ready to explore the world, fall in love and discover the meaning of having a woman's body. It was supposed to be the start of a life for most.

But-

It wasn't so simple. As I grew older I began to understand the reality of the not so kind world we lived in. The Black Order, the name of this so called church, was an organization set up by by the government to help fight a secret war. Life as the people of the world knew it was coming to an end if nothing was done to stop the Millennium Earl.

My friends here were the warriors. They called themselves apostles of god. I watched them for the longest time. I watched as their backs faded into the darkness every time they left. I would wait. Always wait. Sometimes they would never return but It was the only thing I was good at doing. I wasn't allowed to leave. It was too dangerous for someone so fragile like myself. Father didn't have time to baby sit me anymore unless it had me on a table. Days were lonely. I waited for my friends to return to remind me that this cage wasn't so bad.

I filled my time in the Science Division where there was another girl my age. The people there were friendly. They never missed a chance to show off their weird gadgets to us. Without noticing it the church had become my family.

While I had been a troublesome child growing up I had became obsessed with books. It started when Lenalee was compatible with the innocence. That cube like substance that turns you into an apostle to fight for humanity. She became a warrior. I remained the fragile girl who listened to scientist talk numbers and physics to me. My depression led me deep within the dungeon like basement where I discovered a massive library filled with every novel, encyclopedia, drama, and biographies that I could imagine.

My friends soon became William Shakespeare, Christopher Marlowe, and more. After that I was never seen without a book in my hands. Finally I had stories to share with others. While Johnny and complained about Lenalee's brother I would bounce to share what I read, excited to show people my new profound knowledge.

The Greek classics quickly became my favorite. I read one after another until I could find no more new heroic stories of the brave Greek demigods. I remember crying in my pillow, what would I do with my life?

Again I fell into another depression, one that no one could truly help me with. My condition worsened for a while and everyone thought I was going to die. I was almost happy. After all those years, seeing those tears down my friend's faces, I almost felt….like I might have left a mark.

It was unfair. To die without leaving something behind.

Mother left me to father.

A curse that would drive him to the ends of the world to cure me.

When I recovered I fell quiet. Fear overcame laughter. It overcame joy. It replaced the excitement I felt when I saw my friends. Every night I fell asleep I wondered if I'd make it to see the next morning. Was my goodnight to Lenalee my final words to her? Was my father who I saw behind stacks of papers the final image I had of him?

Was what I did with my life worth it?

Father learned far too late that the world wasn't kind.

I on the other hand, knew very well that the world was planning on torturing me.


	2. Chapter 2: Life Style

Chapter 2: Life Style

It began with a day like any other. I did all I could to escape the infirmity and avoid getting caught by the head nurse. A woman so terrifying that she would go as far as hook up straps to my bed to keep me from disobeying orders. With the Order on alert to direct me back at any sighting my only escape became the dungeons which I enjoyed so much.

No one ever bothered me down there. The only problem was getting down there before the surveillance got me in trouble. I slipped through the science division as quickly as possible. "Johnny!" I exclaimed as I let the fabric of my dress fall out of my hands and back down to my ankles. The frame of my figure often clad in a simple long dress, with the top often(and quite shamelessly straps that would reveal too much of my collarbone. If it wasn't my favorite white dress they saw me in it was in my other pastel colored dresses that were much more suited for roaming around the place.

"Maria! Aren't you supposed to be in the infirmary?" John blinked over at me. Despite already being a grown man, my height rivaled his at only fifteen, and still I would grow another couple cms until eighteen.

"Shh! Hide me! I don't want to go back there. I already feel better!" I pleaded as I heard the nurses storming through. Quickly I hid under his desk and held up some reports to hide my face. Nothing suspicious indeed.

"Where is she?! The golems caught sight of her here!" the head nurse grabbed the poor blonde by the color, her eyes sparked with deadly flames. Johnny, the poor clumsy man stuttered as she tried to shake the truth out of him, "I-I-I- don-'t kn-ow!"

"She was looking for Lenalee and went out from the left exit."

My savior that day was . I almost cried out with joy as he blatantly lied to the woman's face and watched her run in the false direction I was at. Once the cost was clear I hopped out of my hiding spot, "I can always count on you guys!" I swayed my long black curls over my shoulder and gave them a genuinely excited smile.

I was free-

"There you are Maria! YOU THINK I'D FALL FOR THAT AGAIN?"

I was off in an instant. I barely made it to the exit before my world spun and I was on the ground gasping for air.

I hated my body.

I was back in the infirmary.

"See why you've got to stay here?" the head nurse towered with her shadow looming over me. I turned beneath the blankets and gave her my back. Very unpleased with how the day was rolling out. "I wouldn't have gotten dizzy if you hadn't been chasing me across this place."

 **It was later Lenalee came by** , caring along with her a couple of books from the shelf in my room. She knew well how to brighten my day, "Ahhh, finally something to do!" I hugged my books tightly and brought my legs up, "but first-" I threw myself at my cute childhood friend and gave her the tightest hug I could muster.

The one thing I hated most about being in the Order was the way people looked at me. Affection and laughter was one characteristic I never tired of giving to my friends and family. It was one genuine feeling that resonated in my chest. I cherished every second I had with those who wanted to spare me sometime. However...sometimes I couldn't help but wonder how genuine the others were.

Ever since they found out my heart was failing me, no one could look me in the eyes for the longest time. Lenalee cried and cried. It was the one thing I didn't like about her. Lenalee was the sister of Komui, the head of the science section, she was strong, brave, an exorcist. Me and her were the same height, while she was of Chinese decent and me of a mix we grew up copying each other's looks until the ponytail faze of hers. Ever since I've preferred to keep my hair down.

But despite being close friends, we were like water and oil.

While I was inexperienced in life, she was far more naive. We laughed and talked all night long; at one point we gossiped over Kanda for months since he was the only boy our age, then Doug, a well reserved guy who was too short for either of us to really see him in anyway other than a fellow exorcist. We feared for the loss of those precious to us and we cried together when we were scared.

She cried harder than me. She cried every time something terrible happened. And while at some point I found myself becoming more accepting to reality I felt like she was losing sight of it. She filled her time training and I filled mine with books and art.

I was accepting, she was not.

"Did they tell you about the newcomers?" She smiled as she sat at the edge of her seat. Newcomers? As in other exorcists? "Eh? No."

"Komui said they're Bookmen. They're coming here to record the secret war into history."

Bookmen here in the Order? I could feel my eyes widen with surprise. I'd heard about the Bookman clan. They were people who recorded history into their memories-they were living breathing history books. I wondered how they would be like to talk too.

"I wonder if their friendly people," I mused out loud. If they had the word 'book' in their name, hey must be into reading a few good books in their leisure time, right?

"Do you think they won't be?" She asked back.

"Well...they do carry secrets of the world. Top secret information...I really wonder. They must be super human to be able to memorize so much."

It was after midnight that I took my chances once more. I lit the oil lamp with a candle and made my get away, only stopping by the cafeteria to pack myself some food. As I rummaged through the goods, looking for the bread, cheese, and even chocolate to stuff in my sack when Jerry's unexpected presence nearly cost my soul to leave my body.

"And what do you think you're doing little lady! Sneaking around at midnight! Snacking on petty pieces of bread! You look like a gypsy girl desperate for some food!" He swayed in a manner that left the bread hanging in my mouth. "All you had to do was ask! I promise I wouldn't have told a soul!"

Jerry was our chief. A flamboyant man.

"No, no this is for the morning," I tried to defend, "I' going to hide for a couple days and I need some food so I don't starve to death."

He gave me an 'aha' kind of expression, "I can't have you hiding out in that dungeon knowing you've only got bread!" he grabbed for his apron, "Alright, request what you want! We'll make it right now for you!"

"-uhm-no really it's okay," My cheeks began to blush. I didn't want to trouble anyone so late at night. But Jerry was already on a roll and somehow we ended up preparing three different dishes. By 5:00 am he handed me the basket of our hard work and I was off to the library.

I had a pretty big room on the third floor with all nice things I've collected over the years. I had a book shelf, I had dolls, canvases and art supplies, but none of it even began to compare to the sense of comfort the large library gave me when I was within it. The study stretched out and was at least four times the size of my room. It was carpeted with what I would guess an Iranian carpet, the color a rich red with gold borders, the marks that decorated it quite a beauty.

There was a table and chairs to one side, a fire place with a couple of comfy chairs pointed to it's direction. The walls brimmed with books from top to bottom. My favorite part was the latter because I could use it to cut through the air.

I placed the basket on the table before going to turn on the fireplace. Ever since I had made a habit of coming down here, someone had always made sure their was lumber for the fire. Father's doing perhaps.

With the fire going and the sun finally peaking over the horizon I fell asleep within seconds.

The day didn't begin like any other. In fact it began with the unfamiliar, something which was very, very, very rare for someone like me. After living in a place for fifteen years with no connection to the outside world, everything becomes familiar.

And the voice that woke me? I had never heard it before.

My eyes opened rather slowly to find the fire had been reduced to little bits of ember, the wood to ashes. The room was slightly chilly making me wonder how long I had been asleep. I laid there in the comfort of the couch cushions when I heard the voice again.

"So this is the Black Order?"

"This here will be the place I expect you to study. You will memorize every single of of these books. Understood?" and older voice, one that was of an old man answered back

"Yeesh you're not much fun for an Old Panda."

I heard someone get whacked, then retaliation. Curious to who these people were I decided to sit up and poke my head from over the couch. Could it be...were these the newcomers Lenalee told me about? My eyes fell upon two, a short old man and a tall red head who was being held by the ear for disrespecting his elder.

"Eh?" I understood automatically why the boy called the elder a panda. With those black circles around the eyes it was no wonder.

His eyes made contact with mine and for many reasons, my heart skipped a beat. He didn't look older than me by much. My cheeks felt warmer the longer our gaze were locked, somehow the trance left me unable to form a meaningful sentence. Why was he looking at me in such a thrilled manner?

"Uh-"

"Striiike~!"

...What did that even mean?

"Excuse me?"

Before there was an explanation I was sure I didn't need the old man came with another assault attack on the teenaged boy sending him to the ground with a kick, "Please ignore him he's quite immature."

I gave a slow nod as I examined both new faces. "I go by Bookman, and this idiot is my apprentice."

"I'm-Lavi," the teen took what seemed to be a moment to recall his name before introducing himself. He was automatically an object of fascination. I saw him as odd a sight unlike anyone I've seen before. He had what I presumed to be a pair of emerald green eyes-one hidden beneath an eye patch.

Did he lose an eye in the past? The one that was directed at me was a vibrant color though it told her how false his enthusiasm was. It made me wonder.

He was back on his feet, though he did rub his side where he'd been hurt. So they were the bookmen. My heart raced. I could feel the excitement rise within me. How many stories did they have that they could share with me? Were they willing to become my friends? Suddenly I felt nervous that the teenage looked my age, nervous that the old man would be judging my incapability to react in a timely manner.

"My name is Maria Lockhart," my smile was polite, my words easily reserved even a little sheepish when it came to unfamiliar faces, "I wasn't aware that you would be using this room."

"Do you send your time down here?"

I gave a nod. One to which the redhead gave an amused smirk and tilted his head, "So the place has cute girls sitting around in the basement. Can't say I have any complaints with that."

My family often and friends often said things about me being cute. Never from people I did not know, so I stood there flustered for a second, stumped by his bold comment, "I like coming down here to read and get away from everyone," I answered, "I hope you don't mind seeing me around."

"Not at all Ms. Lockhart. Carry on your day as if nothing has changed. We are merely here to record history."

I left shortly after the conversation came to an abrupt end. With my basket at hand a few books I had placed to the side to read I snuck away to another one of the libraries hidden away in the underground floor.

 **Our friendship, I believe, started** a week after. I was not used to finding someone sitting in the library that had become my own domain. Ever since the Bookman had told me that it would be the place where his apprentice would be doing his studying, I was shied away by the newcomer's presence. I was afraid? Perhaps he would see the excitement of meeting him. Perhaps he wouldn't be to quick to answer my questions, leaving me in a whirl wind of disappointment and curiosity.

It had been two days since I disappeared. I was sure my father had sent out search teams and was waiting on a sighting to catch me in my tracks. I almost pitied my friends; without a doubt I saw him interrogating them for my whereabouts. Sometimes I heard pattering of feet rushing through the corridors; a warning for me to hide. Through my many years of fearless exploration, I would use the secret tunnels to make my way around. Tunnels I never told to anyone, not even Lenalee. After all I was the one most attached to the place.

And I knew it better than anyone else.

Once the sound of my friends calls had ceased and I stepped out and headed toward the library the bookman had been spending his time in. A part of me hoped he would be in there willing to talk and the other hoped I could grab the books I wanted and leave before I had to confront my curiosity.

The door gave a faint creak as I pressed my weight against in and scanned the area. There at the table where I used to stack my books was sets and sets of books blocking the bookman's head from view. So he was here after all. I wondered how far he had gotten since our first meeting.

My entrance caused him to look up over at me, his one good eye barely open. He yawned and stretched. Again I wondered how he had gotten that eye patch. He blinked the way the dull look in his eye changed to surprise caused my heart beat to quicken. Why was it so hard to approach new people? It made me wish I was ore like Lenalee, open and welcoming.

"Hello?" I started while scratching my cheek and started to glance around at the shelves, though I already knew where the books I wanted were.

"Your friends were looking for you," he started his gaze following me around the room. I gave a nod, it was a usual he would have to get used to if he was staying here long. Had they told him of my condition? Surely if they had asked him about me he would know, especially since i'd heard Johnny running around earlier.

"I'm at a rebellious age. I've been retaliating for a while."

I heard a faint laugh but I dared not look over my shoulder,

"Really? That sounds fun, are you going to show me how you've been avoiding getting caught?"

This time I did look over, was he hinting at the passages I was using? He was sporting a lazy smile as he rested his head in his hand, "Hiding in rooms and behind book shelves does it."

he almost looked unconvinced. What else should I expect from a bookman right? I glanced back at the self. Hm, my book wasn't in its place. Was it in one of his piles? I tapped my lips before making my way to the table, my eyes scanning the books he had out.

"What are you looking for?"

"Greek classic The Orestei-" I paused, all the book she had out were of the Greek Classics. From the Odyssey and Iliad to Medea. My heart raced. "You're studying the classics?!" I desperately tried to contain the excitement in my voice.

He let his chair fall back on all fours, "I read a bit of the old history books in here but I thought these might be more interesting to read first. Have you read them?"

read them? I was going to laugh.

"Yes. Many times. They're the most brilliant books in here."

the same interested gleam flickered once more in his eye, bringing it to life yet again.

"Really? Which would you say is your favorite?"

He was feeding a fire within me. One that no one here could do since no one had the leisure time I had, "The Oresteia Trilogy. Clytemnestra the wife of Agamemnon was a defiant woman of her time. She saw herself as an equal to man and felt the need to pursue revenge in a most clever manner. Not to mention it showed the first process of trial. If you haven't read it yet you must keep me up to date with what you think of it as you do."

Surprise was what I read on his face and I instantly regretted jumping into the conversation with such passion. My friends had been used to me for years, my little outbursts were a norm to them. This man however was sill brand new to me, still unfamiliar with my personality and like wise with me being clueless to what type of person he could possibly be.

His smile made my cheeks warm up, "Well, I finished the Odyssey and I'm half way done with the Iliad. I'll have to start on the Oresteia trilogy next."

After that, there really wasn't anyway we couldn't have gotten along more.


End file.
